Were men really this clueless?
Back in the day, being a woman was a tough gig what with all the breeding and baking. So, if hubby was a bad lover - and most were, with no clue or care about a woman's sexual needs - there was nothing to look forward to at the end of a long day of toil. Luckily, relief was only a horse ride away!
Dr. Swift had a popular cure for 'lady ailments' such as headaches, bloating, listlessness, emotional outbursts. If you find this totally hysterical, that's exactly what it was called during the Victorian age. Today we would just call her a 'frustrated bitch' but "Hysterical Passion" was considered a very real disease in medical circles treated only by massaging the gentiles by hand or with a water and hose!
And many a proper lady was grateful a cure existed. Funnier still, husbands did not care and were happy to pay for the service since sex wasn't considered sex without a penetrating penis. Foreplay had not yet been invented! Between the constant demands of running a house and keeping her husband happy, the lady of the house could finally sigh with relief at the "magical power of fine gentle massage". Sadly, the medical profession caught on to the scam and you won't find Dr Swift on speed dial today but there's always the big girl toy store when you're feeling 'hysterical' and in need of a little 'mid quarters' relief...
